Happy New Year

"cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right" - Oprah Winfrey.

a clean slate; i started off this year in my grandma's empty house without taking a shot of whiskey or other various liquors that others were partaking in and  i ended up falling asleep before the ball even dropped. some of you might say that, this sounds kind of sad but in all honesty, it was refreshing. it was the first time that i have been to my home town to visit my family since my grandma passed. i thought that all of the memories, the happy times...would be non existent anymore. i was wrong, the house may have been empty but it felt like she was there and of course there were still pictures of my sister, brother, cousins, and i in old shoe boxes that haven't been gone through yet to remind me that even though she may be gone, the memories remain in my heart.

after spending a few hours going through pictures and a weekend of running around to visit my aunts and my brother, i was exhausted. i won't lie, but deep down as i went to get in the car to make the six hour drive back to Columbus, my heart sunk. i felt like every little piece of me that i had lost this past year and found again over one simple weekend home, was slipping away again...and it took my breath away. i sat there for a moment silently praying to God for an answer as to what i was supposed to do. i didn't want to leave but i knew that i had to make that six hour drive home, only to sleep for a few hours, then wake up to head to work at nine in the morning which never sounds appealing. so, i just sat there letting everything swirl around in my head, thought after thought. a part of me still feels as though i made the wrong decision. i should have stayed. it took every ounce of me to hold myself together while my brother's knee's were giving out on him over the weekend. his girlfriend went into early labor and they had to stop the contractions. i just felt like it was my place to be there, not only for them but for me too since last year was a whirlwind of emotion after grandma's death and kevin's surgery complications that may leave him paralyzed with all of the convulsions that he is having...

i kept telling myself, it's a new year, a new start. a new chance to get everything right.
last year may not have been our year but i am going to fight like hell to make this year better as much as i can.

Happy New Year Folks
FAITH CAN MOVE MOUNTAINS,
so cheers to a new year and a new chance for us to get it right. - Oprah