angels in waiting.

i thought of you this morning when i woke and i didn't see your beautiful face and hear you telling me to "snatch up a cinnamon role before they were gone". i always thought it was amazing how you could wake up hours ahead to bake for your family before they even woke.i thought of you today.  i thought of you this morning and how you always smelt like jergens cherry almond lotion and chanel number five.  it was a flash back to last night when i wore a sweater of yours that still smelt like you...i knew you were there but sooo far away. it broke my heart for but a moment.  i thought of you this morning wishing that you were in heaven sipping coffee around a tree with your mother and loved one's past. i found a sense of comfort knowing that you are not alone...the pain lingered for a few seconds only to finish with a smile on my face because i know with all of my heart that you were doing exactly that. i thought of you celebrating Jesus's birthday up there among the clouds, drinking wine, and having a grand ole time. the one day of the year that your cheeks got red when you started to get a little tipsy.  i can picture you up there in heaven wearing a cooking apron baking a two layer birthday cake like you did for us every year on our birthday. i thought of you today when i saw a picture of two doves on a christmas tree. i thought of your funeral last week when the doves were released, the sun came out, they flew in a circle above your tent and flew off as an ora of peace circled our family. i thought of what we would be doing today if you were still here. we would be sitting in your living room around a tree with white lights flooded with ornaments from years past with our names and presence left upon them. we would all be waiting patiently for our turn to open our presents then head to church for the christmas service. it was always the most beautiful one of the year when the organ played silent night in a candle light vigil sort of service.  a service where we all circled around the church singing silent night with happy faces rejoicing the son of God's birth. i thought of you this morning. i thought of you last night as we drifted off to sleep without going to church. it was a whole new scene, a group of all new faces, when all i wanted was a sense of comfort, a sense of home. i thought of you five minutes ago, an hour ago, and a second ago too. i'll think of you tomorrow and the the day after that. not a day will go by that i won't look back at the memories and miss you. the future moves on and i'll forever carry a piece of you in my wallet, in photos, but most of all in my heart. i miss you....may those new found wings take you everywhere you were never able to go and more. i know that you are looking down on me from above and thanking me for saying "i love you"...well gramma "i thank you too" for everything including loving me.

i'll find comfort in those last words you said to me. fly away home gramma. you are free <3